nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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