Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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