I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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