i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
its liver damage thursday
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
