I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
