4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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