I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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