Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize