Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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