I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
