i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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