Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
