theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
