Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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