its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
