did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
