My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
