Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
