legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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