you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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