Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
