Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
