you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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