barbara walters just said penis...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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