It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
