Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
