How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize