she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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