my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
