I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
