this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
