He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize