just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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