she looked like the bat from fern gully.
birth control should be required to get into college
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
