You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
