i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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