Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
