Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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