That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
