just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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