wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize