Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
