Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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