lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
