tell your sister to shave her snatch
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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