I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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