I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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