Non-Jews are for practice
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
