Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
