hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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