I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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