I just made out with a guy for $7.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
