Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
