where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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