I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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