how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize