I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
