the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
