my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
