I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
