That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
