The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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