Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
