is your mom at the bar?
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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