I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My vagina is officially offended.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize