thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize