Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
