Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No subtext here. People are naked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
