i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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