i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize