so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
