There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
