covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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