White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
