So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
