you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
