When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize