You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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