Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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