I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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