You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
