alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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